Late Nights and The Cherub Rock

I remember when I was still a young fella. My friends would spend our evenings in Chris’ family’s back yard, drinking and often times firing up the BBQ. It got late. Back then, sleep didn’t matter as much as it does now. Most of us worked nights at pizza hut, so our fun most times wouldn’t even get started til 11:00 pm.

We were all teenage to early twenties guys. Bathrooms weren’t always necessary. In fact, with the parents sleeping in the house, it was better just to find a place outside.

Chris’ mom kept a very nice yard. She had flowers and landscaping…she had a lovely patio that we enjoyed…but what I remember specifically was the cherub statue we all used as a toilet. An innocent, peaceful little girl….her wings tucked behind her, staring hopefully to the heavens. Her chin rested on her hand and an innocent smile adorned her happy face. This statue sat in the sun by day, brightening up a cheery yard filled with well maintained grass and flowers…then at night, we took our turns pissing on her face. Being the shit heads we were, this was funny. Aiming for her face was important. Shaming those who refused to follow piss protocol were ridiculed.

I’d like to think my string of bad luck was some sort of punishment for the joy I felt pulling my penis out and soiling a statue. I keep thinking of other things that I may have done wrong to be punished. Nothing really comes to mind. I keep telling myself I’m due for a win, but maybe some people aren’t supposed to win. Maybe in order for you to have a good time, other folks just need to stand in the garden and wait to get peed on.