“Aftermath: The Movie”

I had a movie idea.

Not sure about the actual story it’s telling yet, but the setting is a year or two after a major event….either a super hero standoff with aliens or a giant lizard attack…and everyone has settled back into their state of disillusionment with their city and their government. Their “we’re all in this together” mindset has dissolved. Everyone is just pissed off about all the roadwork still being done. All the buildings they once frequented haven’t reopened. Remember that little coffee place that used to be here? Of all the things iron man could’ve thrown an alien on….

There’s still giant lizard foot prints in some parking lots. Teens take instagram photographs in them with their tongues sticking out. This, of course, creates Internet outrage due to some people hanging on to the destruction caused and the lives lost. Some people just can’t let go. I mean, come on. It was 18 MONTHS AGO.

Stand up comedians have begun telling jokes about the lizard. It’s no longer terrifying. Now it’s just something that happened once. “I wish it had stepped on nickelback,” one hilarious tweeter would post, and it would get 20 favorites from his or her legion of followers. Discovery channel would run hypothetical scenarios on what would’ve happened if the monster had turned left on third street instead of right. YouTube would be flooded with auto tuned versions of the roar or screech it made. Bruno Mars would have a worldwide smash hit with his new song/dance craze based on it’s unique walk.

You can visit New York and ride on a green double decker bus with the yellow letters “destruction tours” written on the side of it. They sell t-shirts outside where the empire state building used to be that say “never forget,” which becomes a huge business for a few opportunistic folks for a while…until of course the taboo starts to kind of fade. It’s been 18 months now. The t-shirts aren’t the hot seller they were before. A local tourist shop buys the remaining inventory at a heavily discounted price and puts them on a rack in the back behind the regular fare for 50% off.

The running is over. Everyone hiding in subway stations together and standing with mouths agape as fireballs flash overhead is a thing of the past. Life has returned to normal only with all this added bullshit to deal with. Homeless guys are still lining the street. Hell, there seems like more of them now. I guess they didn’t have renter’s insurance.

Maybe it should be a romantic movie. People still gotta get laid, right?